“You didn’t even stop to say Thank you.”  God’s gentle voice broke through, as tears streamed down my face.  How did I end up here again?

I know exactly how I arrived back at this place of bondage eating.  I was stressed.  I am stressed.  The pressure of my job has been building for the last few months.  I go to sleep with a never-ending “To Do” list on my mind.  I awake each morning with the same stressors, like uninvited breakfast guests hanging out at the coffee bar making it hard to think; to pray.   

I know how to set boundaries around people and things.  But how do I do that with stress?  That’s the battle I’m in.  I can’t seem to escape it long enough to get my bearings. 

The sucky part is I know God is good, faithful, all mighty, and the savior of the world.  I call him Lord and YES, he is my savior!  But I’m struggling.  I’m struggling to feel his joy in midst of all this drama.  It’s also hard to feel hopeful when the days are long, and my rest is short.  It’s. Just. So. Hard!

And when things get hard my old sin patterns surface.  I say things I regret later.  I make decisions void of wisdom and I overeat.  Do you want to know something embarrassing?  I wrote a whole book about becoming God’s Perfect Size and how to be delivered from food addiction.  I wrote the book.  I live the principles and still, I fall from time to time.

Today I fell hard.  I walked into the kitchen for something and before I knew it was buried in a bag of chips, salt particles falling from my fingertips, lips coated with a greasy, crumbly sheen.  And that’s when I heard his voice.

“You didn’t even stop to say Thank you.” 

The air around me stilled in reverence as if it knew the Lord himself had entered the room.  I stood there; hands midway to my mouth as the tears began to pour down my face. 

I’m sorry, I whispered.  I physically could not speak after that, so I cried.  My tears told of the shame I was carrying.  Each drop carried the weight of my work pressure and sleepless nights.  And my final sigh of relief summed everything up.  Thank you, Jesus, for coming to my rescue.

The day was a blur after that.  I ate too much at dinner.  I read my bible out of desperation and then slept a deep and peaceful sleep. 

This morning I lay in bed and sang to Him because he is a good Father! 

At breakfast, I stopped and said “Thank You” for this meal. The Lord taught me to pause and say Thank You BEFORE I eat as a way to invite him into the process.  Those two whispered words of gratitude remind me of who I am eating for.  They remind me that he is the one who delivered me from the bondage of food addiction.  They declare to the enemy that I am free in Jesus’ name. 

 I grew up saying grace before I ate a meal, and it was a beautiful practice.  Now, I invite grace into my meal as a necessary lifeline.  Thank you is a secret code between the father and me.  It postures my heart before him.  His gentle reminder to invite him in is what set me free all those years ago and it continues to help me walk in freedom today.  I am grateful for his reminder to say Thank you. The words themselves hold no special power but the God I pour my gratitude before holds all power.  We can look to God and invite him into our messy, overscheduled, broken lives. 

If you are reading on in the hopes that I tell you God swooped in and fixed my work situation miraculously, then let me save you some time. 

Everything stayed the same EXCEPT for God’s gentle impression on my heart to thank him.  That may not seem like much, but it was everything I needed.  It let me know God saw me. He saw my stress and inability to escape it.  I also felt his presence and power.  I had been feeling isolated and alone until he spoke.  His voice let me know he was very present with me.  And lastly, he gave me the strength to escape a familiar sin pattern that would have sucked me into a cycle of overeating. 

The bible says this about Jesus,

 Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.  (Hebrews 2:18)

That promise is for you also.  I might be the one typing this, but God is the one tugging at your heart to let him help you.  He wants you to invite him in.  You don’t have to carry everything by yourself.  And you certainly don’t have to let an invisible enemy hold you, hostage, in some life-sucking sin pattern.  Jesus can help you escape.  I’m living proof that he is faithful and powerful enough to do it. 

It really is a simple process of asking him.   Ask God to come into your situation.  Ask him to help you.   Ask Jesus to be your savior.  You will never know how powerful he is until you ask him to do it for you!

The day I invited God my brokenness he said, “Yes”.  Back then I could not hear his voice.  Heck, I wasn’t entirely sure I wasn’t talking to myself out loud.  But over a year, my life started to change.  It was a slow process with a steep learning curve.  I traded one tough year for a lifetime of freedom and an eternity with God.  It is worth it!

I no longer fight alone.  God shows up for me. This time he whispered two little words that reminded me of his love and promises to me.  He can do that for you. 

Will you let him?

© Kim Jagwe 2022