“Why in the world would you give up a great salary to start over?”  A friend recently asked me that after I shared my plans towards entrepreneurship.  I sat stunned into silence.  I had no prepared answer for this question.  The conversation or monologue continued.  She listed all the reasons why my new path wouldn’t work.  She ended with explaining that people our age should be focused on a great retirement plan not starting a new and uncertain business.

This conversation was like a slow acting poison.  I allowed it to dampen my spirit and call into question my hopes and dreams.  What hurt worse was  I could tell she did not believe in my ability to do it.  I took it as, ‘Who do you think you are.  People like us don’t reach for more’.   I think this conversation had way more impact because secretly, I have wondered the same things.  Who do I think I am?  I have been a part of this socioeconomic status my entire adult life and that is where I thought I would stay.  People like me don’t do things like this.  These are the thoughts I am currently wresting with.  Am I the only one with these secret thoughts?  I wasn’t sure how to break the negative thought loop at first.  I prayed and read my Bible looking for a solution.  I know to think on whatever is true, and noble and pure and right… ( Philippians 4:8)  The problem was/is for every new thought, twenty old thoughts were shouting louder.  Something else was at play.  I didn’t figure it out until the next morning.

5:36 am and a slow sluggish walk to the shower brought the answer.  I do a lot of deep thinking under a stream of hot water! It hit me- not just the water but a paradigm shifting thought!  I had brought all of this unnecessary suffering on myself.  I did this.  It wasn’t my friends fault or anyone else’s.

In order to explain this I need to take you on a journey.  It will be worth it; I promise.  When I first got pregnant with my son many moons ago, we did not tell everyone for several weeks.  Why?  We wanted to make sure baby was progressing okay.  Once we were certain he was growing stronger, and enough time had passed, we were ready to share our news with the world.  Are you following where I am headed with this?

Our dreams, and the beginning steps we are taking to reach them, are in the embryo or first trimester stage.  We are most vulnerable to losing hope and giving up when we expose them too early.  I should never have told what I am working on right now.  When we are working towards life changes such as: a new marriage, coming to faith, starting a family or business, going for a promotion- what ever it is, we are not meant to tell everyone everything before we have grown it enough to withstand life ( Even then, be careful who you invite into your confidence.  Not everyone is for you!).  The early stages are the most difficult and deadly to your aspirations!  Looking back, I know I should have kept my mouth closed.  It wasn’t time to expose my vision to other’s opinions.  Even Jesus’ ministry started at a set time.  He actually shared that his time had not yet come.

I say to you and myself, let’s keep working and growing something wonderful.  Like a baby hidden in the womb, we will grow our dreams and mental fortitude.  As a new mother begins to show the fruit she is carrying, so will our dreams bear visible  fruit.  I need to remember everything is not meant to be told right away!  Our time is coming and the things we are working on will be on display for all the word to see.  When that time comes, we will be strong enough to answer those who ask, ‘Who do you think you are?’  Ask in return ‘Haven’t you been watching? I am an entrepreneur!

As you grow in the truth of who you are, I wish you unshakeable faith, wealth beyond measure and laughter ’til it hurts.

Kim J.

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